Listening to Myself

It seems as though I am always needing to learn lessons. With this move (about a 6 month process) I have had to learn how important it is for me to maintain my health and keep in front of me what that means and how I need to do that. I need to be able to successfully handle the issues which arise and keep myself healthy no matter what pressures are placed on my shoulders.

Yes, I have gotten ill after a week of trying to help my family settled into our new home and move forward with their lives, as well. In doing that, I totally forgot to take care of myself. As with my old habit, I put myself at the end of the 'to-do-list'. Everyone seems to need things from me, moving back near family also requires me to focus more on other people than I have had to do, having young adult children who are venturing out in the world and a husband who travels requires me to be the terra-firma for many. I am sure the issues of me needing to meet the needs of others as well as being very sensitive has made my body scream...."for god's sake, you are going to have to stop". And since I didn't listen, my body made sure it happened by saying "take this". That put me back and I have been ill all this week.

I am still looking forward to getting my studio set up, but it will happen as soon as I can do it with focus. I know now I need to take care of my whole self and that means evaluating and refocusing. Then, I can move forward with my art and creative endeavours. I am so excited and eager to get back to that part of my life.

It is time I need to allow myself...and patience!

Getting To The Work

Do you ever mean to get to things, but continue to do other things trying to make room to do them? It seems as though this is happening to me a lot these days. I don't like it, but that is what is happening.

I think sometimes I try to create the right conditions or make the room in my head to get to the things I want. For example, there are a few friends I need to email or phone, but I want to be able to make plenty of time to connect with them. While they would probably like to hear from me briefly, I find I want to have lots of time to talk with them. Because of this, I do not connect with them at all! Or I would love to be able to have a day to spend creating, but because I do not have a full day (or days) to give to this, I do not do that, either.

I think I really get into the flow of some things and just do not want to break that experience. Most people, trying to be helpful, would say I should schedule the time to have for myself. For most people, this would be a good suggestion. But for me, scheduling creative time means closing me down.

Ah, but is this just my way of procrastinating? I do not think so, but maybe I am convincing myself. Is it really fair of me to expect myself to be able to have the time I need (and I really do need it), when we are in such a period of transition? I do not even have a studio or a corner with materials, at present. But I honestly think it might be an excuse about making connections with my friends.

The good news about the blog is it makes me face and evaluate those issues. I learn more about myself by reading and writing rather than talking. What helps you? Are you finding ways and time to be creative? Do you ever find yourself putting off what you really want or need to do?

I continue to make changes and continue to learn...

Have a very creative day.



I

Being Authentic

Moving around helps me to take stock much of the time. I rarely get a chance to settle into any place, so I have found it is important to be settled and true to myself. Just maybe the moving helps me face that reality with greater clarity. I suppose that depends on each person's personality.

One of the items I picked up recently was the current O Magazine. This issue is all about being authentic. While I suspect many artists do not have problems with being authentic, I wonder if we are really authentic to our art. What does being authentic in art mean? Are we sometimes forced to tweak our authentic-ness to pay the bills?

Authenticity in my art is creating what I need to create when I need to produce it. For me, this means not working in a series the way critics often want to see us work. It means using materials in various ways and listening to my instincts about inspirations. It means allowing myself time to develop what needs to be developed in my work. What does being authentic to your art mean?

Does this compromise my ability to sell my works? I don't think that is so much the case (the moving around doesn't allow me a stable base from which to sell a great deal, however that is a different issue). Being authentic, itself, is a way of working in a series. Additionally, creativeness and authenticity allows me the ability to make connections in my work which may not be obvious to others.

In the O Magazine, several people talk about what it means to be authentic. A fashion designer discusses how her professional life has developed since she made the decision to not follow the trends. A musician discusses how staying true to herself has made the difference in her life. And there are other wonderful examples of how people have stayed true to theirselves and how it has made the difference in their lives.

Consider what it means to be authentic in your art. How do you remain true to yourself? For me, I understand no other way, but my way is mine.